Disaster of the Mind
by Lunachu
Summary: When an event in Logan's life breaks him, his life begins to crumble. Logan just isn't himself anymore. But can Kendall, Carlos and James bring him back?
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new BTR story! Lots of Logan angst in this one, probably a bit from the others too. However, as always, this story will focus mainly on Logan. I don't know the update schedule for this, as right now, my 100 theme challenge is taking over my writing life, but I do have most of this story planned, so if people prefer this over **_**Need**_**, this will probably get updated more frequently.**

Enjoy!

The sun was slowly beginning to set over Los Angeles, golden rays of settling light casting a glow over the busy city. Four boys slowly trudged through the gates of Palm Woods, heading towards the apartment blocks. The day had been long, Gustavo Rocque having put the four teenage boys through hell and back that day. Several hours of harmonies, dance rehearsals and recording their new album had put the producer in a foul mood, meaning lots of shouting directed towards his dogs.

Carlos Garcia, the smallest boy of the group, suddenly burst out into a grin. His tan skin stretched across his cheeks, small dimples forming as he began to jump up and down in a burst of energy, he grabbed his helmet and strapped it on.

Logan Mitchell sighed wearily before grabbing Carlos's arm, pulling him back before the hyperactive Latino could injure himself.

"Calm down Carlitos," He began, voice tired and strained from the long periods of singing. "Just chill for a bit, alright?"

Ignoring the genius's advice, Carlos pulled away running quickly into their apartment of 2J. Bounding up the stairs, he screamed at the top of his voice.

"Let's do this!"

Then threw himself head first down the swirly slide. Logan, Kendall and James just stood there and watched him, amused smirks planted on their faces. Carlos crashed into a heap at the base of the slide, completely motionless for a few seconds. Beginning to worry, Logan stepped forward, his hand outstretched to shake Carlos.

"Buddy, you o-" Logan started.

"That...was...AWESOME! Can we do it again?" Carlos interrupted, jumping to his feet like nothing had happened at all.

Rolling his eyes, Logan muttered gently. "I gotta get some new friends." Despite his drooping eyes and exhausted limbs, the small teenager went and sat beside Katie, who was looking over her algebra homework with confusion in her eyes.

"Need help there, Katie?" Hearing Logan's voice, Katie's eyes lit up and she immediately pulled up a chair beside her for Logan to sit, knowing that if Logan couldn't make her understand, no-one would be able to.

As always, James had already abandoned the family room in favour for the first shower since rehearsal, no doubt ready to use up all the shampoo, conditioner and shower gel in order to get his body back into the way he adores it to be.

Kendall however, following a vicious argument with his mother that morning, went straight to her side as she slaved over the hot stove in the kitchen, dutifully helping her cook the meal designed for four tired teenage boys, a growing girl and herself. That meant a lot of food, but adding Carlos's monster appetite onto that, it was a wonder all the food was able to fit into the oven.

Unable to stay angry at her oldest son, Mrs Knight cracked a smile, leaning over and kissing Kendall's cheek affectionately.

"Thank you, Kendall. But dinner's nearly done. Set the table and try and force James out the shower for me please?"

Nodding his reply, Kendall did just that, setting out five lots of knives, forks, drinks, plates and placemats, before heading over to the bathroom and smashing his fist against the wood.

"Oi, you're girly enough without smelling like strawberries, James! Up and out, food's done!"

Upon hearing the prospect of food, Carlos's eyes widened considerably, looking over from his attempt to scale the staircase while in a handstand. "Food?" He asked, almost drooling already.

Mrs Knight smirked knowingly. "Chicken Dinosaurs sound alright? If it isn't, I can always cook something else..." She teased, giggling a little as Carlos jumped with glee, forgetting he was still on his hands and falling down the few steps that he had actually managed to climb. Katie looked up from her Algebra work with excitement in her eyes; even Logan looked pleased with the idea.

They all race to the table, Katie taking her seat first before closely being followed by Carlos, who sits down with such a force his whole chair tips and he ends up flat on his back. Chuckling a little, Kendall asks him, "Dude, you alright down there?"

To which, the still grinning Latino replies: "Never better! This is why I wear my helmet!" and stuck his thumb up in confirmation.

James suddenly burst into the room, wearing nothing but a towel clinging to his hips. "Where's the chicken dinosaurs?" He exclaimed, eyes wide and shining with excitement. Who knew the concept of food would be so exciting for a teenage boy?

Mrs Knight cringed. "James, the food will still be here when you're dressed. Go." She ordered him, before setting the plates down on the table. Logan had joined them all during James's little outburst. Carlos and Kendall both picked up one of their Dinosaurs, Carlos opting for the T-Rex while Kendall took a Stegosaurus, and began to make them fight shamelessly. Katie and Logan rolled their eyes in unison at the immaturity of it all.

James finally rejoined them at the table, hair still dripping wet yet at least decent now in his pyjama pants and light t-shirt. He wasted no time in joining Kendall and Carlos in the prehistoric battle of the century.

Almost an hour later, all the food is gone, happily resting in the stomachs of 2J's inhabitants. James, only now realising he left his hair wet without filling it with products, begins to complain.

"No! My hair! Logan help me! My hair! It's going to frizz! Help!" Sighing, Logan stood and led James away to the tall boy and Carlos's shared bedroom, forcing James to sit down on the bed. He had been forced to do this many times before and knew the procedure well. Take the Cuda product, place a lot in the palm of your hand; rub your hands together until the product is body temperature and slick, before running it through James's hair evenly. Logan, of course, did it perfectly.

Interrupting James's little spa treatment; Logan's mobile began to ring in his pocket. Logan, being an organised person, tended to have different ring tones for different people, so as he would know who was calling before he even checked the Id, but the tune echoing from his mobile's speakers was the default ring, meaning, no-one from his contacts list.

Logan sighed lightly, running his hand quickly under the water to get the sticky product off his fingers before taking out his phone. He frowned as he read the words 'Unknown Number' on his screen.

"Probably some crazed fan that got your number, Logie. Go on, give them the best day of their life! Answer it!" James encouraged when he saw Logan's hesitance.

Once again sighing, the small raven-haired boy pushed the answer button and put the phone on speaker, awaiting the crazed scream of excitement from the mysterious caller who was probably a fan-girl.

But no crazed scream came, just the simple, foreboding professional voice.

"Hello, is this Logan Mitchell?" He recognised the voice; it was the police officer from his town! He'd recognise Tyler's voice anywhere, since he had been the one to look after Logan once his parents had all but abandoned him. However, something in his friend's tone worried him.

"Yeah, Logan speaking, Tyler, is that really you?" He couldn't keep the happiness from his voice from hearing his old Minnesotan friend. He and Tyler had grown close, the police officer often being the one to visit once Logan had been sent to a foster home when he was tiny.

"Yes, Logan, it's me. However, I don't bring the best of news; I don't really know how to tell you this."

Fear began to clench at Logan's heart, Tyler had never sounded so subdued before. His voice was too thick, as if he'd been crying. Maybe someone he knew had been killed in a robbery or something, and Tyler had to be the one to bring the news? Selfishly, Logan hoped that was the case. A long distant friend or someone he knew when he was little, someone like that dying, Logan could handle. He'd be upset for a while, but he'd get over it.

"Tyler what's wrong?" He couldn't keep his voice from shaking. His scared, brown eyes flickered to James, who just looked worried. His own eyes focused sharply on the phone Logan clutched in his white fingers.

"I'm sorry to report this to you Logan, I really wish I didn't have to.." It was obvious Tyler was beating around the bush, trying to give himself more time to come up with a suitable way to tell Logan. But the boy was having none of it.

"Tyler! Tell me what's going on!" All the politeness and respect that Logan usually held for authorities figures was no longer present. Only the worry and fear that something terrible had happened.

"Logan, your parents and sister... they're dead."

Logan's heart stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Logan, your parents and sister... they're dead."_

Logan's heart stopped.

James's eyes widened at the solemn voice radiating from the phone's speakers, quickly looking up from the phone to Logan's pale face. Logan had gone completely silent, his hands shaking lightly as they still gripped tightly onto his cell. A few seconds later, Logan's grip slackened, the phone falling limply from his fingers as his hands fell to his sides.

"Logan? Logan are you ok?" James's questions went unanswered, Logan just continuing to stay stare forward at the poster covered wall. Soon, though the rest of Logan's body followed the discarded cell phone, dropping limply onto the floor as his blank eyes continued to stare. The boy's heart was shattered in his chest, so much so he was actually surprised it was still beating normally.

Logan thought he'd be feeling some sort of grief or sadness, but instead, he just felt blank, painless. A hole echoing deeply in his ribs. Vaguely, he could tell someone was shaking his shoulders, trying desperately to make the unresponsive raven reply to him, but Logan didn't want to, he was happy, almost, here. There was no pain, nothing, just a pure blank wall of emotion.

James, after getting no response from his practically catatonic friend, quickly picked up the phone, changing it from speaker back to normal.

"H-hello?" He asked into it. "A-are you still here? I'm Logan's friend, James. Remember me? H-he's collapsed, he won't respond to anything!" James was nearing hysterical, unable to handle his usually calm and thoughtful best friend being completely out of it in his own mind.

Tyler was silent for a few seconds, before slowly replying. "Yes, James, I remember you. Are Carlos and Kendall around, also? Mrs Knight, too? Get them, I don't think Logan needs an ambulance; he's gone into shock I think... They may not have been the nicest, but Logan did love his parents, a lot. I did also, remember that ok? They were still his family no matter how horrible." Tyler's voice was thick once again, choked with tears and emotion.

Obviously having heard James's panicked voice trying to force Logan to reply, Kendall and Carlos bounded into the room at once, almost falling over each other as they tried to get through the narrow doorway at the same time, not that both would fit. Kendall's wide green eyes scanned the bedroom, before slowly settling on Logan's prone, still form.

"Logan!" He exclaimed, pushing himself through the door and to Logan's side, quickly checking the boy over for injuries on his arms, stomach and head. Noticing that his best friend was apparently awake, his brown eyes lazily open yet unfocused, Kendall relaxed a little, sighing.

"Logan, you scared me for a second. What you doing on the floor? Get up, come on." He grabbed Logan's arm, beginning to pull the boy up. Stopping when Logan hung like a rag doll from his grip. "Logan..?" His voice was beginning to sound panicked now, understanding where the urgency from James's voice had come from. He turned to the said boy and his smaller companion, Carlos, green eyes blazing.

"What happened, what's wrong with Logan?"

Carlos looked up at Kendall, his big, innocent eyes red with tears. "Kenny..." He began, his voice cracking a little. "James said Tyler called, Logan's police officer friend, my dad's co-worker?" Kendall nodded a little, showing he understood the conversation so far, his heart was beginning to swell with worry. "He said... He told Logan... He..." Carlos was unable to tell, once again bursting into a round of sobs as he grabbed Logan, shaking him madly in a desperate plea to bring his friend back to them.

James finished for the hysterical Latino. "Tyler told us that Logan's parents and his sister are dead. I just got off the phone with him. When Tyler said, Logan went silent and collapsed, he hasn't moved or said a word since. Tyler said its probably shock, no need for an ambulance just yet, alright? So everyone calm down..." Although James's tone alone contradicted himself, his worry overflowing for Logan's catatonic condition.

"I'm getting Mom." Kendall announced, before quickly leaving Logan's side and running out to where his mother was doing the washing.

"Mom! Mom come quick, s-something's wrong with Logan! Tyler from Minnesota called, L-Logan's mom and dad are dead, so is his sister, Logan's collapsed, please we don't know what to do!" Not even waiting for the woman to dry her hands, Kendall had grabbed her wrist, dragged her into the now cramped bedroom that James and Carlos tended to share.

Mrs Knight pushed her way through to Logan's form, muttering her sorry as she almost knocked Carlos over, and knelt beside the fallen raven, gently stroking his hair back and tapping his cheeks, doing everything in her power to wake him from the state he had placed himself in.

She feels tears prick her made-up eyes as Logan stayed as silent as ever, his eyes not focusing once on his mother figure. Gently placing her hands on his shoulders, she eased him up, choking back a sob as Logan's head hung limply back, as if he was a lifeless corpse.

"Logan, honey, come on, snap out of it, you're worrying the boys. Logan, please?" She sniffed a little, wrapping her left arm around Logan's back to keep him up as she wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand, before putting it behind Logan's head and lifting it slightly, easing the strain on the Genius's neck.

"Logan," she began again, trying another tactic to pull him out of the state. "We know you're upset, ok? You loved them, especially little Luna, right? Your baby sister? How old would Luna be now, five, six maybe? Come on Logan, snap out of it!" Mrs Knight was beginning to feel anger through her worry, getting frustrated over Logan's non-existent responses. Carlos's light gasp echoed through the now silent room, staring in shock at the growing red welt on Logan's cheek.

Through her desperation, Mrs Knight had slapped Logan.

However, the boy continued just to stare blankly at the ceiling, no sign of the bright, happy genius that once lived in that body.

**Sorry this has taken so long, well, only really a few days, but I've been updating **_**Need**_** every day, and hopefully I'll be able to update **_**Need**_** again before I head out to my hometown for the weekend, I'm leaving in a few hours. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews fill me with joy :)**


	3. Chapter 3

It's been days since Logan received the horrible news about his family. Days since the once lively genius spoke or ate. Wanting to be a doctor, Kendall thought Logan would know the strain that the severity of his actions were putting on his body. Yet nothing got through to his foster brother.

They'd tried everything, anger, gentle coaxing, pleading, sobbing, even just including Logan in their conversations as if he'd get the idea and contribute. But still, Logan remained unresponsive, the ache in each of his band mates' hearts growing with every silent moment, every uneaten meal.

It took Katie stomping harshly on Logan's foot for them to be able to coax even the slightest bit of water down his throat, rehydrating his stressed body daily. He was doing nothing for himself now, all he'd do was walk aimlessly, staring straight forward constantly with his mouth sealed shut.

One time, around 4 or 5 days after it all began, James watched Logan as he walked from his bedroom to the family room, a slow, steady pace that he always used now. His eyes were lifeless, dead in their sockets, focusing on nothing as he walked the route mapped in his mind. However, it had been a long time since Logan had last eaten, the last meal he had consumed being the chicken dinosaurs days before. Logan's pace slowed, that uncommon for the autopilot boy, James notices, and his eyes became more glazed over, more distant as if their Logan wasn't around at all. Then, Logan lost his footing, eyes closing slowly as he dropped to the floor like a stone.

James darted over to Logan's side, grabbing him before his genius head could smash into the cold tiles below him. Yelling out for help, James's eyes are wide as Logan wakes up just seconds after he'd fainted. Kendall rushed towards the two just as Logan's mouth began to open in confusion, taking a breath as if preparing to talk.

Then, the lifelessness came back to Logan's eyes, memories flashing before them of his parents and little Luna now dead in a casket, waiting to be buried in the cold unforgiving soil of Minnesota. His gaping, ready-to-talk mouth closed, his voice remaining unheard.

James and Kendall's hearts sank, having filled with relief when Logan had prepared to speak. Tear's pricked in the corner of their eyes, threatening to overflow at any given moment.

Another two days have passed since Logan fainting, no sign of improvement from the boy as they began to regain their daily lives, trying hard to forget of their best friend who was once such a big part. Gustavo had contacted Mrs Knight that morning, ordering that all the boys had to be in the studio by noon. She had tried to explain that Logan couldn't, but the producer was having none of it, demanding again that _all_ the boys turned up before hanging up the phone.

So, with crestfallen emotions in play, the three boys trudged towards the studios while Kendall held Logan tightly, afraid of him fainting once more or even running off completely. Logan had yet to break down and cry, not yet having begun the grieving process over his family, his three best friends knew that this is what had to happen to get Logan out of the catatonic state.

Once they got to the studios, James went straight over to Kelly and their producer. Kelly looked unhappy over the fact that Gustavo had forced his dogs into work, both knew about Logan's parents' death.

"Gustavo," James started his voice a little shaky. "We won't be able to get much done today, Logan still won't talk. He's losing a load of weight coz he won't eat. He even fainted the other day, so don't expect too much from him, alright?" He didn't wait for an answer before joining his friends on the sofa.

Logan, as still and silent as ever, broke from his trance. Rising to his feet, ignoring the shocked looks that Kendall, James and Carlos all threw in his direction, Logan began walking towards the recording booth. Once inside, he connected the large earphones to his head, leaning towards the microphone.

Kelly, pride and hope filling her heart, turned on the music for _Paralyzed_.

Logan opened his mouth, took a breath, and began to sing.

_You, You walked into the room,  
On a Friday afternoon,  
That's when I saw you for the first time,  
And I was paralyzed._

All of the people in the room stared in shock at the booth, Gustavo raising his glasses to get a better look at the genius boy who was belting his heart out in song. His voice was clear, angelic, no sign of his dehydrated throat and his silence for the past week. The song drew to a close, Logan having sung all of his parts perfectly. Kelly had been smart enough to record it, even with the millisecond of preparation.

Logan exits the small booth, his eyes once again emotionless as he walks back to the couch. His lips were sealed shut, and he didn't look at any of his friends for even a second. One by one, the other boys went into the booth, recording their part of the songs needed so they could be put together with the music.

However, then came the time for dance rehearsals. Logan sat on the couch, where he had been still since coming out of the booth, and refused to stand. Gustavo began to shout, sweat pouring from his forehead while he yelled and screamed at Logan to be a man. Logan didn't even flinch at the harsh words.

"That's it! Logan, you will join the other dogs on the dance floor, _right now,_ or you are out of the band. Do you understand me?"

Logan stayed stoic and still, Gustavo's words having no impact.

Kendall and Carlos shot hard glares towards their producer, Kelly joining in with the action. If looks could kill, Gustavo would be 6 feet under right now, probably with Carlos dancing on his gravestone. Carlos grabbed Logan's shoulder and led him out of the studios, James and Kendall following the two shorter boys without hesitation.

Getting to Palm Woods didn't take long; there was no chatter, banter or conversations of any kind, they just all walked together in silence, fuming over Gustavo's words. If the producer kicked Logan from the band, Big Time Rush would cease to exist, they all knew that.

Arriving at the large hotel, Carlos begins to lead Logan straight to the elevators, grinning and bobbing his head a little when the lyrics to their song _Elevate_ comes to his head when they approach. However, the two small boys were interrupted by a certain female charging over to them.

Camille made her appearance as she screamed harshly at Logan. "Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering or returning my calls, Logan? Gosh, you've been making me worry! You heartless brute!" Ending her little rant, Camille slapped her hand straight across Logan's face, the exact same spot that Mrs Knight had hit in a fit of anger a week ago. The red welt began to appear instantly since Logan hadn't even tried to defend himself from the full frontal hit. He still remains silent.

Camille burst into sobs, grabbing Logan's shoulders and jolting him around, shaking him back and forth as she tried to make the boy reply. "Logan you absolute asshole! You're avoiding me aren't you? Answer me!"

Carlos, sensing that Logan was going to get very hurt if he wasn't careful, grabbed the boy and pulled him away from the dramatic female. Logan still remained silent, not even seeming to be aware his girlfriend was screaming and crying before him.

James hurriedly apologised for how Logan was behaving to Camille, before helping Carlos and Kendall get Logan quickly into the elevator, a crowd of concerned and amused people having surrounded the boys. Some muttering concerned questions and reassurances to both the hysterical girl and the frantic boys trying to get their friend to safety.

While in the apartment, James helps Logan sit down on the couch, while Carlos and Kendall rushed into the kitchen behind them. Mrs Knight and Katie appeared to have gone out for the day since the boys were meant to be at the studio.

Carlos and Kendall whipped up a bowl of pudding, joining James and Logan on the couch. They were beginning to be able to see the weight dropping off Logan, his bones beginning to show through his extremely pale skin, the bags under his eyes looking incredibly dark now in the faint light. They had to get some food into the boy, and as quickly as possible too.

Piling a spoon up with the chocolaty goodness, James pushed the spoon towards Logan's tightly drawn lips, ignoring Carlos's giggles when the gloppy mess smeared around Logan's face as he refused to open his mouth. They each tried for at least half an hour to get the sugary substance into Logan's body, but with no avail.

Logan just wouldn't let them help him.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I haven't updated in a few days, but I do have a very good explication and excuse for that... Basically, I'm an asthmatic, have been most of my life, and two days ago I was diagnosed with a chest infection after having had an asthma attack, not the best thing you want to here. So, I was put on antibiotics to get rid of the infection and was told to take it easy, so guess what happened? I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, ones I've had several times before with no problem... Ahh life hates me.**

Any who, enjoy the chapter! A lot happens in this one.

Another week had passed, this now making it a full 2 weeks since the phone call from Tyler. The said police officer had called James, Kendall, Carlos and Mrs Knight several times since then, struggling for information on his genius friend's condition. Yet, every time they told him the same thing.

Logan wasn't improving at all.

Kendall and James were angry with Logan, now. Although they continued to be worried for their friend's condition, they felt betrayed. They were doing everything in their power to bring their Logan back to them, yet the boy didn't even seem to be trying to join them back in the land of living. He was purposely ignoring their pleas, allowing his best friend's to be hurt every time he stays in silence.

Deep in their hearts, the two boys knew that this wasn't the case. Logan wasn't himself; he couldn't help what was happening to him. Genius, Doctor Logan would never do something like this to his friends. He'd be back in a snap, comforting them and reassuring them that he was fine. But this was yet to happen.

Logan didn't even shed a tear when the funeral happened in Minnesota without him; since the boy had refused to go anywhere out of their apartment unless it was to the studios.

Carlos was handling the situation completely differently to the taller boys. While around Logan, he smiled, laughed, did stupid stunts. At first, they all thought he was simply trying to pull Logan back with laughter, make him open up more like they once did in Kindergarten when they'd all become friends. But soon, it became apparent that Carlos's attempts ran much deeper.

He wasn't just trying to pull Logan back with laughter. He was trying to scare him, force Logan to come back to them with fear that Carlos would accidently hurt himself, since Logan had always been the one to stop their stupid stunts. This only became known to the others when Carlos's stunts became more and more dangerous, one time Kendall having to hold Carlos back from wanting to rollerblade off the roof of Palm Woods into the pool.

It was only then, when Kendall had Carlos tight in his arms and Logan still just stared forward at the wall, unconcerned and uninterested, that Carlos broke down in tears over his lost friend.

It was almost like Logan was missing, he'd run away and the Logan in his place was an imposter.

Having gotten sick of Logan's behaviour, unable to be around the catatonic boy without getting upset over his unresponsiveness, Mrs Knight decided to take the still-living boys out for a break. So, the morning they decided it, Kendall, Katie, James and Carlos all packed a bag and went out in the car, leaving Logan sound asleep in bed.

At first, they didn't feel guilty for it. Logan probably wouldn't notice them gone anyway; all he did was stare at a wall, or a ceiling, and for very brief periods would doodle in a notebook. These doodles were the only way that the boys had any idea over what Logan was feeling, and only one word could describe it. Logan was blank.

-

Logan awoke alone, the familiar hole aching dully in his chest. Slowly rolling his head to the side, Logan noticed that Kendall wasn't lying in the bed beside him like he normally was. In fact, it looked like he hadn't been there for a while.

Slowly, Logan rose to his feet, ignoring the little black dots that crowded in the edge of his vision when he did. Logan knew he was getting weaker day by day, but if he was honest with himself, he didn't care. He didn't feel anything but a hollow blankness, and the dull ache that forever radiated where his heart should be.

He made his way over to a small desk that was piled with Medical Journals, even though the once beloved books hadn't been touched in 2 weeks now, and pulled out his small spiral notebook. He opened in on a clean page, took out a pencil, and allowed his hand to sketch freely. He didn't force it to do anything, or think of the drawing, plan ahead what he was doing. No, Logan just let his hand do what it pleased, sketch out what was on his mind.

Absentmindedly, Logan noted that his throat was sore and dry; punishing him for the amount of time he had gone without using it, scratching like sandpaper with every breath he took. His hands shook lightly as he attempted to sketch, his muscle having withered to hardly anything throughout the extended period of very little substance in his stomach. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he was going to die from Malnutrition if he didn't allow himself food soon.

Yet, again Logan didn't really care. His only blood family were dead, the boys he saw as brothers angry with him, no-one would miss the obnoxious genius who sprouted out random facts at will.

Placing his notebook and pencil back in the secret draw hidden under the desk, also cluttered with his discarded glasses and various little medical tools, Logan once again rose up. Slowly, Logan willed himself to place one foot in front of the other, dragging himself over to the living area. Somewhere at the back of his mind, Logan decided that if someone was still here, he'd talk to them. He'd allow his mouth to open and for words to spill out. He'd allow himself to feel again, for emotions to fill him up and bubble over. He'd allow the tears to finally appear, make his grief known.

But, when his weak body finally made its way to the large room, no-one was there. They'd all gotten sick of his behaviour, left him to fend for himself in his scary, orphaned world. He felt an emotion rise to the surface for the first time in so long, the feeling now foreign to the boy after locking them away. It took a few seconds for the boy to realise that he was feeling anger. Pure, unrestrained anger that his only remaining family, in a blood sense or not, had given up on him.

But suddenly, Logan felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. The feeling was uncomfortable, almost painful as spots once again crowded his vision. Nausea bubbled in his stomach, his thoughts mixing with the black dots in his vision, making his brain numb, disorientated. Logan felt his arms drop limply by his sides, his legs giving out and sending the genius crashing to the floor. For the last remaining seconds before his weak body allowed him to sink into unconsciousness, Logan felt the tears of abandonment crowd in his eyes, one finally slipping out as his thoughts went dead.

-

The sun was beginning to set when the rest of the occupants of 2J piled back into the small apartment, grins plastered on their faces at the carefree day they had just had.

The boys hadn't had to worry about Logan once the whole time they had been at the zoo, then the restaurant afterwards, Mrs Knight's treat. It was almost calming to know that they could have a day away from the drama and nothing would go wrong.

Or at least, that's what they thought.

When entering the large living room first, Kendall's smile dropped from his face, eyes widening in pure shock at the sight in front of him.

"Logan!" Kendall dropped his bags of goodies he had bought at the Zoo's gift shop and ran over to his friend's side. Logan was lying face down on the carpeted floor, completely still and unmoving. Rushing into the room to see why Kendall had yelled, Mrs Knight, Katie, Carlos and James all froze in shock at the sight before them.

Kendall grabbed Logan's shoulders, pulling his silent friend over and up, resting Logan's limp head on his legs.

"Logan? Logie can you hear me? Come on dude, wake up! Please? Logan!" Kendall shook the said boy's shoulders harshly, trying his best to make Logan at least open his eyes. But the boy in his lap stayed still, silent.

With a shaking hand, Kendall slowly reached his hand to Logan's neck; pushing two of his fingers down where Logan had once taught him was a pulse point. Kendall had laughed that day, stating that the first aid and CPR that Logan had taught him would never be used, that Kendall would never be in a situation to need it. For not the first time in his life, Kendall was glad he'd listened to his genius friend's ramblings.

After waiting a few painful moments, Kendall's eyes widened momentarily, before finally feeling the small, weak beat against his fingers. He let out a small sigh, and leaned over, placing his cheek over Logan's slightly parted, chapped lips and nose. Only then did Kendall begin to really panic. No air was hitting Kendall's cheek. Logan wasn't breathing.

His eyes filled with tears, heart seizing in shock and fear. "Mom," he started, quiet at first but slightly raised with terror. "Mom, call an ambulance, now! Mom do it, Logan isn't breathing! Mom please!" Kendall's tears spilled over as he began to sob into Logan's chest, shaking his best friend madly.

Carlos and James dropped to their knees beside Logan and Kendall, both staring, numb with shock at the raven's still chest. Only then did Carlos and James let the waterworks spill out, all of their fear over the past two weeks spilling out at once, all over Logan's unresponsive, dying body.

**Also, to any of those who read my 100 Theme Challenge, **_**Need**_**, I could do with some help. I have no idea what to do for the next chapter, the theme for it is '**_**Dead Wrong'**_**, so if anyone wants to help me with that, it would be greatly appreciated!**

Thank you for all the lovely reviews so far! I may not reply to them, but that is mainly because I don't know what to say, but to each and every one of you who reviews, alerts or favourites my stories, thank you so much! 


	5. Chapter 5

Waiting for news always tended to be the worst part of any hospital trip. The taunting, ticking clock on the wall, children screaming in pain, fear, or simply because they don't know what's going on, coughing, sneezing, groans of pain, drops of blood on the floor as injured people piled in.

Oh yeah, waiting rooms were horrendous.

Kendall paced silently, unable to sit still but not knowing where else to go, he took it upon himself just to walk in circles, a slow, deliberate pace as he waited, waited for news on his best friend, his brother.

Carlos hugged his knees tightly to his chest while sitting on the hard, plastic chair below him. His frantic sobbing had slowed since they arrived at the hospital two and a half hours previous, but had yet to stop completely.

James sat in silence beside Carlos, his left hand rubbing gentle circles between Carlos's shoulder blades to calm him. He hadn't said a word since arriving. In fact, none of them had.

Mrs Knight sat a few chairs away from Carlos and the others, knowing the boys would be filled with guilt over leaving Logan alone. Then again, her herself wasn't doing much better. Logan was meant to be her son, how could she have just gotten sick of him and gone for a day out? They'd all been so worried about him recently, but why, why the one day they weren't there to help him did he have to collapse?

Katie lay on her mother's lap, eyes closed gently as she slept on, oblivious to the noise-ridden waiting room surrounding them. After the long, exciting day out then coming home to find her brother half dead, no longer pulling oxygen into his lungs, Katie was filled with both physical and emotional exhaustion, crying herself to sleep not long after arriving.

Another thing the boys hated about waiting was the lack of news from the doctors. It had been 2 and a half hours since they'd arrived, following the ambulance in Mrs Knight's car, and the last they'd seen of Logan he'd been blue in the lips, still, lifeless.

But, no news was good news, right? At least the doctor hadn't come out and told them their best friend was dead yet.

_Yet._ Kendall almost hit himself for even thinking that retched word. Logan wasn't going to die; he was too strong, even if he wasn't himself lately. Logan wouldn't give up and leave them, who would stop Carlos getting hurt all the time? Keep Kendall grounded and keep James from getting too vain? They'd fall apart without Logan.

Finally, after what felt like centuries, a tall man clad in a white doctor's coat made his way to them, his voice strict yet concerned as he did so.

"Family of Logan Mitchell?" his voice rang out, calm and demanding. James and Carlos jumped to their feet while Kendall looked over at him with large green eyes filled with tears. Mrs Knight gently picked her daughter up and followed them, standing nervously in front of the doctor.

"Follow me," the doctor began to walk, before leading the small group into a room. Lying in the room, small and pale on the large white bed, was Logan. His eyes were gently closed, an IV running through his arm.

"Logan collapsed from a mental breakdown so it seems, as well as severe malnutrition." He stopped for a few seconds, allowing the information to sink in. "Once Logan is awake, he will be assessed in the Psychiatric ward, then, depending on the situation according to them, Logan will either be allowed home with strict therapy orders, or he may need to stay in the mental ward here."

Carlos began to sob again at the words, gripping Logan's unresponsive hand tightly. "Please, Logie, I need you to wake up and talk to me! Just one word, please Logan!" Kendall and James just stared forward at their pale, too-thin friend lying on the stark white sheets.

Slowly but surely, Logan's cocoa brown eyes opened, blinking hazily through the drugs running through his system. The said orbs flickered towards Carlos's teary face, before his face twisted in the small, half smile all of his friends knew and loved.

At this moment, Kendall, James, Carlos and Mrs Knight's hearts all lightened.

Maybe Logan would be alright after all.

**Woo another update!**

Right, There's two options for this story, and you readers are the one's deciding which one is going to happen!

The first, is this story is drawing to an end, there will only be another chapter or two before this finishes, the original plot for this story was never meant to be too long.

However,

The second option is a continuation of this plot I have come up with, none of it is set in stone but I do have plans, of which are not written out yet. BUT, the problem with this continuation is there will be an Oc who is playing a MAJOR part in the story line, and I know a lot of people do not like that at all, so I'm letting you guys decide this!

I will be going with majority decision, and I can't update this anymore until there is an obvious decision made with you guys... So please, review and vote what you want me to do with DofM, I don't ask this often!


	6. Chapter 6

**Last chapter! Would have been up earlier, but if I'm completely honest, I was just feeling too lazy to write. Long thank you authors note at the end of the chapter!**

Also, If you want to follow me on twitter, its Lunachu16,You don't have to, it's just an idea and I love meeting new people! Now enjoy the chapter!

It was amazing how much Logan had recovered in the short space of 2 weeks after collapsing. After a full week of intensive therapy at the hospital to get through his short bout of Anorexia and being a self induced mute, Logan had been allowed home quickly afterwards. Now, it appeared, Logan was his old, happy, chatty self.

Kendall, James and Carlos hadn't realised how much they'd missed the unimportant ramblings Logan often came out with, at least not until they'd returned. Their hearts swelled with joy, unable to keep the grins off their faces the first time Logan had begun sprouting out unimportant information while watching a documentary on Flamingos. It appeared that Logan knew more on the pink birds than the presenter did.

Tyler still checked up on Logan, but that was one aspect that still worried Logan's best friends. It had been a month now since the official announcement of Logan's parents' death, and the raven had yet to grieve. He refused to talk to the police officer on the phone, Tyler having to rely on one of the boys or Mrs Knight to relay the information on how Logan was holding up and recovering.

Logan was acting as if nothing at all had happened, having gone from catatonic to his normal self with no problem. But that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Logan had lost his parents and little sister; he needed to grieve yet seemed to refuse to. Not a single tear had been spilt.

At this point in time, Logan was sat on the orange couch in apartment 2J, curled up sleepily with Carlos as a film played on the television in front of them. It was the latest instalment of the Harry Potter movies that was playing, which just happened to be the last, and Logan couldn't help but point out every difference between the film and the lengthy book he'd read in a single night.

"You know, Harry was meant to show Mr Ollivander his broken wand and ask if he can fix it, since it was broken earlier on..." Logan explained quietly, his eyes drooping slightly as the scene played out on the screen of Harry showing Mr Ollivander Bellatrix and Draco's wands.

Carlos rolled his eyes a little. "Logie; shut it and watch the movie." However, he grinned down at Logan's half asleep form, showing that there was no harshness behind the words.

Not long later, Kendall and James entered the apartment. They'd been down at the local rink, practicing their abandoned hockey skills while leaving Carlos and Logan home to watch the movie, since Logan had wanted a marathon of the films the past few days. Happy to see that they were finally on the last of the 8 long movies, Kendall and James sat down on the orange sofa, joining the smaller boys.

Kendall sat on the other side of Logan to where Carlos was, whereas James sat beside the Latino. Logan, even in his dozed, half asleep state, sat up a little from where he'd been slouched and placed his head on Kendall's shoulder, letting himself slip back into the doze while still half watching the movie in front of him.

Once again, Logan mumbled about something that happened in the book that the directors had decided to skip from the movie, for the pure reason that if everything from the books were there, they would be around 6 hours long. The other boys understood why the details were missed, but Logan seemed annoyed at every single one.

However, the boys didn't really mind Logan's interruptions, just the pure reason that they got to hear his voice again. They'd missed it, a lot if they were completely honest.

James's voice broke through the comfortable silence that had settled around them since Logan's last intrusion. "What's this movie called again?"

Carlos leaned forward a little, grabbing the DVD case on the table in front. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2." He stated, before sitting comfortably back while James nodded a little, the silence setting back over them.

It wasn't long before the sadder part of the movie came on, not that the rest of the movie hadn't been if they were honest. Harry was walking towards his death through the Forbidden Forest. Logan was now wide awake, watching with curious eyes. Sooner rather than later, familiar faces appeared on the screen. It was Harry's parents; having appeared with the help of the resurrection stone, one of the 3 deathly hallows the film was named after.

Lily and James Potter smile sadly at their grown up son, and that's all it took.

It started off as a small sniff, Logan reaching up and wiping his eyes discreetly, but it didn't take long for the waterworks to fully open. Logan curled up into himself, gripping his stomach and chest as painful sobs and gasps ripped through his still-thin frame, large silvery tears slipped down his pale cheeks as he cried out in pure anguish.

Kendall was the first to react to the genius's breakdown, quickly pulling Logan too him and wrapping his large arms around the trembling, pained boy. Carlos threw himself on top of the two, gripping hold of Logan in the only form of comfort he could while James squeezed himself between the two bear-hugs, gently wrapping his strong arms around Logan's small waist.

Sobs continued to tear themselves from Logan's gasping lungs, unable to stop the tears long enough to breath, all he could do was sit there in his best friends' embraces, waiting for the breakdown to pass.

Kendall began to worry, the crying fit still continuing although the heart-wrenching whimpers of pure sorrow had stopped. A small, pained whisper left Logan's lips as the crying finally exhausted him, sending him quickly into a deep sleep.

"Mom..."

Sighing in relief, feeling a tiny bit guilty for the feeling, Kendall was glad Logan had finally let his sorrows out. It couldn't have been healthy to hold in his grief for as long as he had. Gently, so as not to wake Logan, he shifted him around a little bit, indicating the others let go off him. Once they had, Kendall moved so Logan's head was resting comfortably in his lap as makeshift pillow.

James, having paused the movie when Logan had begun breaking, allowed it to play again. Leaning over slight, James placed his hand on Logan's thigh in a form of slightly comfort to the sleeping boy. Carlos was unable to be so subtle with his comfort, ending up cuddled up with Logan in Kendall's lap also, he hadn't wanted to let his friend go in his time of need.

Sighing gently again, vaguely wondering whether his lungs would get annoyed with him due to all the sighing, Kendall allowed his hands to run absently through the two smaller boys' hair, smiling lightly to himself and James when Carlos joined Logan in the land of snooze.

As the credits rolled on the screen, Kendall allowed himself to slouch back a little, smiling when he takes in James's slumped form, his hand still resting on Logan as he slept, no matter what anyone else thought, Kendall knew James cared more over his friends than his looks, even if he did try to hide it. Feeling his eyes droop shut, Kendall was happy to join his three friends in the mental land of sleep.

-

Mrs Knight entered the apartment with her daughter, both of them carrying plastic bags full of groceries. She was stunned when the apartment of 2J met her with silence; she'd expected a riot by now with Carlos and Logan full of sugar and Harry Potter magic.

Hopefully her loud boys hadn't been kidnapped by some half giant on a motorbike.

Scanning her gaze across the apartment, Jennifer smiled lightly when she noticed her four boys sprawled out of the orange couch, all sound asleep with the DVD's title page on, waiting for a command from the remote James held clutched in his left hand, the right one was strategically placed on Logan's leg in form of subtle comfort. Carlos however hadn't bothered to be subtle it seemed, his helmet-clad head resting on Kendall's thighs as he gripped Logan like a teddy bear, refusing to let go at all. Carlos may be innocent, but he wasn't stupid, he knew when the genius needed him. Kendall however lay slouched, his left hand in the popcorn bowl, lightly gripping a few pieces in sleep, while the right lay on Logan's head, threaded through the dark hair that resided there.

Logan's face however, shocked Jennifer Knight. For the first time since the tragic news, Logan's face was grubby with dried tears, the delicate skin around his cocoa brown eyes swollen and red from the irritating tears.

Logan had finally begun the grieving process, and she could not be happier or prouder over his best friend's support. Together, they would get Logan through it, there was no doubt in her mind.

**So, there we go! That was the end of Disaster of the Mind. I've decided not to carry on with the OC plot I had, not yet anyway. If the time comes I really want to do it when I have time, I'll write a sequel for this, therefore the people who wanted me to leave it here and the ones who wanted me to continue will both win. Deal? I still have school for another week so I'm not yet sure if I will do the sequel, nothing is planned for it.**

However, thank you to everyone who has stuck through his story with me! This is actually the first multichapter, even a short one, I have ever completed. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, favourite, given me ideas, Pm'ed the whole thing! I love each and every one of you.


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